The Summer I Turned Pretty, Summer Love, Cruel Summer — You Name It

I feel like it’s such a privilege to have the whole summer season in a very different situation. This season, Betty spent her summer alone, far away from her family. She chose that way, to taste self-growth and find a new beginning. “It’s new and there are no rules. It is different compared to when I chose to stay in my city. No regret at all,” she said.

It was only a happy moment even though she also called it a cruel summer. A young man, older than Betty, sat right beside Betty on one occasion. Got along during the event, Betty and this man exchanged their phone number and had their first hanging out moment at one of the popular restaurants in that city. The fun fact is, they are both tourists in that city, struggling and hoping for the same things. “You both are the cutest!” I said to Betty, and continued listening to her story.

Hearing the story of Betty, I can’t judge but agree that she deserves to say that this is the summer when she turned pretty. It was the first time she met a guy who gave her validation towards “go far, go together.” She didn’t even need to pretend to be someone, the guy accepted Betty's flaws, celebrated her wins, and was totally present each time they had a time together, aside his phone away. As a person who has quality time as a love language, I am super envious of Betty.

“So Betty, how far does it go? Tell me more.”

As the time went by and summer slowly reached its final days, the spark that once brought her so much joy started to feel heavier. The moments became memories, and the excitement turned into questions. That’s when she started to talk about the desperate feeling. The feeling that starts rising when the summer holiday is about to end. Each night, it’s hard to let the thought get out of Betty’s mind. “I dreamed of him in the quiet of the night. Not just one day, but almost everyday. It’s just right there but I can’t reach it,” Betty said. It is nothing in real life, but everything inside her mind. She was living for the hope of it all. HHoping for more than just seeing each other now and then, more than just a partner, more than just laughing together at some inside jokes of theirs. It was not enough to call those memories “A Summer Thing.” Nightmare is when all of that togetherness will slip away just like sipping a bottle of wine. Betty is afraid that she couldn’t find his warmest spirit in anyone else. “I think I am in love with him,” Betty confessed to me. It hits different, she said. “I have no idea, I know that he isn’t mine to lose, I have no right to call him mine, but I am praying, wishing, and hoping that in this short period of time, he will meet a life partner who become his ‘fast charger,’ the one that accepting him with a pure heart, accepting his flaws, becoming his front row cheerleader, the one that loves him in the name of God. I am so sad and I wanna cry.”

As a good friend (I thought I am a good friend tho), I told Betty about the theories that everything takes time. It would gravitate back to you if it was yours. It will take place in the right time according to God. God knows everything and never goes wrong. I admit that summer story is so sad, somehow, but I believe that Betty is a strong woman as she can survive the last day in that city, being busy preparing for the apartment moving alone while her mind is busy thinking of him.

“It was the last day I stayed in that city. I almost canceled my plan to pack things after work just in case he’d call. But my intuition said that the probability is beyond the lowest line, so yeah, no good bye session. Cruel summer, isn’t it? I lost him, but he isn’t mine to lose. What a clown.”

“So I can conclude that you love him, you want more than just a friend, but you never told him about that feeling. On the other hand, you don’t know how he feels toward you. That’s why both of you were playing safe, as friends, right?”

“You’re not wrong. I am beyond grateful to understand how it feels to be in love, to be loved and also admit that it is just not the right time to step into a romantic relationship.”