Talking about a partner.

Talking about a partner.

I was in a conversation about partners and marriage recently. The weird thing is, each answer that I deliver to my conversation partner is not precisely my true answer. It is more like a puzzle since I’m still learning about this topic and don’t have enough experience with it. I accommodated this conversation as an exercise to test my perspective about partners and marriage.

While answering, I contemplated and evaluated (after the person left me, I used to rethink my answer to see whether it was the correct answer or if I was just sugar-coating). So in this article, I’m going to write down my perspective on a significant other and marriage so I no longer become indecisive in the way I see my future life.

I asked my friend how they found their significant other.

Some of my friends ask me about my perspective on a significant other.

A partner or significant other is someone who has a goal that, if we are together, we can reach faster and further.

Having criteria is like being so hard on ourselves. I do believe in the sentence, "We attract what we are". If we’re sure of ourselves by being ourselves, the world will conspire to meet us with someone who has the same interest, vision, or goal as us when the time is right.

 

So, when is "the right time"?

I once said to one of my friends that I wanted to focus on my studies and my career first, then I could be a settled woman. After that, I will be considering the next path, which is spending the rest of my life with my significant other. But then, my friend asked me back, How if you do your things together with your partner? Does it sound more effective and powerful? Like a team, like what a partner does. I paused for a moment and thought, My friend was right.  

 

After that (long) conversation, the right time always becomes God’s mystery, but we need to make ourselves ready for it. Because I am strongly sure that when destiny meets us with our significant other, it means that it is our time to face a new big challenge and go further together since we are in the moment together.

 

I found a quote online that also related to what I learned in my religion: "Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him". One of my friends asked, How if our partner prevents us from reaching our goals or dreams?" My opinion on this question was, "We attract what we are". I confidently said that I’m not going to find someone like that because we will be in different circles and never meet. #fingercrossed. Anyways, as long as we are fully aware of ourselves, the way we think, say, and behave, and have empathy, I assume that we never state or behave in a way that can hurt others (especially our partner). Simply by the "be kind or do nothing" principle.

 

When do you plan to step into that chapter?

I don’t have a plan. I let it flow. I have a future career, study, and retirement plan. Since I believe the time is right for me to step into that chapter, I can go further while facing some "big" challenges together with my significant other. It doesn't matter the time; what matters is that God’s plan is always more beautiful than our plan. We're never ready if we overthink things.

What if your partner is just 180 degrees different from you?

The challenges will start in 3,2,1 hahaha.

There was a moment when I experienced a moment with people that tested my patience. During that day, I have to finish my work. But he did not put his attention to my schedule instead I was trapped in his schedule the whole day and did not have time to finish my work. I asked myself why I ended up having a day with him. I hate this moment. But then, I remember that I was ever in his position, where I did not care about what my friends were needed, previously. They said to me I was selfish. Now, I understand that God had arranged that day to teach me about empathy and slowly reduce my selfishness. A partner should be the one who gives us a lesson to be better every day.