Reflecting on 26

 Should I say it was an honor to celebrate my 26th birthday under the fall in the USA? I think I should. This moment is something I’ve dreamt of for years — a small but meaningful (or memorable).

“How do you usually spend your birthday?” a friend asked me.
I wanted to answer truthfully, but the words hesitated on my tongue. I worried my response might seem boring to others (I think this is how Indonesian thinks), even though I genuinely love the serene way I celebrate: “I pray, write in my journal, and do an annual reflection.”

Instead, I said, “I celebrate with my family — my mom cooks my favorite food, I receive gifts, and we eat together with friends.”

Which is true, of course — but that’s more the “ceremonial” part of my birthday. But this birthday felt different.

“It’s your birthday — do whatever you want!”

It was my first time celebrating a birthday in the USA, far from home, and it was a blend of the familiar and the new thing. I spent the day with my new cohort, celebrating it with another Virgo friend. Being indecisive, I let another friend take the lead in organizing the event. There were moments of lost in translation, as I saw it — which taught me an important lesson: I need to refine my communication skills.

Curious about how birthdays are celebrated here, I decided to observe and adapt. From the choice of venue to the cake and the flow of the celebration, I let them lead, and I am staying as low-key as possible. It was fun, though a little awkward at times as I adjusted to the differences. But overall, I got the moment.

“How’s 26?” another friend asked me.

I paused for five seconds, trying to articulate how I felt. Honestly? I feel no different. Maybe it’s because I’m not always present in the moment, or perhaps I struggle to define what being 26 even means.

When I first arrived in Baltimore, I was anxious — facing two years of uncertainty in a new country, navigating life as a government-sponsored master’s student in a capitalist country.

It felt like stepping away from the life standards others back home often placed on me:
“Why aren’t you pursuing a specialist degree?”
“Why aren’t you getting married?”
“Why aren’t you opening your dental clinic?”
“Why study abroad?”

Here, I feel distant from those questions, and honestly, it feels releasing. However, the distance from the familiar — my family and best friends — is the hardest part.

At 26, there’s still so much “new” to embrace: new friends, a new home, a new school, a new country, new knowledge, and new perspectives. Every day, I wake up driven by the dreams I want to achieve, finding joy in even the smallest improvements in my daily life.

A room for reflection and growth remains my foundation, giving me the courage to take bigger leaps when the time comes. I’ve learned to honor my feelings and be more genuine with myself. At 26, I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be — and that’s enough for now.